do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
grandma shit on top of the toilet
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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