that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
