now i know why i became what i already was.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
