My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
