what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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