the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
