Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
