he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
