dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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