After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
