piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
