it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize