so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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