Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
