My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
