nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
