Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
