i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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