There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
