Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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