it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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