I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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