Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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