yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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