I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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