She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
