so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
