You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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