Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
