sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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