just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
