I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
