I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
