sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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