apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
