I can tuck mytits in my pants
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
