found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
