I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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