I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
