hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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