I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize