I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
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State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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