take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
