The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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