He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You made out with two different species that night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
