I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
