You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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