THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
is it fun? or sober?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
