so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
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you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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