dude i'm inner monologue high
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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