WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
