I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have fence marks all over my body
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize