btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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