And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
