I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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