but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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