Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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