Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
