Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize