i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
