I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
