im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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